One of the reasons I decided to study abroad in London was because I wasn’t mentally prepared to enter the workforce and start my career. I honestly had no clue what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I had told myself throughout college that I could become a professional graphic designer and work for a studio or a magazine, but as my academic career was coming to an end, the less interested I was in that idea. You see, I truly believe that God is leading me on a path where I will ultimately discover my true passion. I’ll always love art and design but my talents are meant to be used for something bigger than myself. It’s hard to really explain for only I know what this all means.
I’m making a point of enjoying my time in London and I have the endless support of my family and friends, who are proud of my decision to come here. However, the thought in the back of my head still looms over what I’ll do once I return to the states. I don’t have another semester or year to think about prospective job opportunities like the other american students here. But I can’t really do much about it now except take one day at a time and wait for his vision to become clearer.
On Thursday, my first of two internships ended. As I left the building and made my way to the metro station, I couldn’t help but smile; thinking about my experience and whats to come in the following weeks.
Throughout the summer I’ve been feeling nonchalant about studying in London. I didn’t think to much of my emotions, I just assumed that I would start to feel excited the moment I boarded the plan. However, when I received my final information packet yesterday, I started to regain the same excitement I had when I received the call that I was accepted into the program! Now I know where I’m living (which is beautiful) and my itinerary is packed the second I land in Heathrow Airport and I couldn’t be more ready.
When I made the decision to apply for graduate school in London, I had every intention of doing more than traveling and going to school. I promised myself to make the most of my experience and take every possible chance to continue to step out of my comfort zone and learn about myself as a person. So far I’ve kept that promise and I have made plans to connect with one of my favorite photographers based in London and meet with a fashion pr firm (thanks to a friend who works for the company in New York)! I’ll also be making time to document my journey via video and share it with my friends and family back home. Of course I also plan on traveling to outside countries and nearby cities in England.
Although I know what I’ll be doing in London, I still can’t believe what I’m going to experience. I have to tell myself everyday, "John you’re going to London! Can you believe it?," just to remind myself how blessed I am and to be thankful for this opportunity. This upcoming week will be the end of my second internship and after I leave, my entire focus will be on preparing for the trip of a lifetime.
“You can wait and wait for good ideas, you can consume books, magazines, websites, and music by the truckload, desperate for something to trigger some sort of eureka moment, but if you just write your shitty lyric down, lay your shitty brush stroke down, or take your shitty photo, you’re on the right to track to actually making something good.”
Remember that time when you thought you didn’t have the talent to make it in the creative industry? You used to get so frustrated with yourself because your work wasn’t at the level of the professional artist you admired. Filled with disappointment, you failed to realize that at one point, your idols dealt with struggles too. Everyone had to start somewhere and honestly your work had to suck in order to become a better artist. You used to allow your perfectionism to be more of a curse than a blessing and you struggled for years trying to get past the self-doubt. You didn’t give yourself a chance.
Those times are long gone and your attitude has improved tremendously. No longer are the days where you used to sit around wishing you could blink and create a masterpiece. Your goals are now realistic and you plan projects out for yourself on a monthly basis. Being a self-taught artist is something to be proud of. You look up to some of the greatest artist of your generation and you use their hard work as motivation. Eight years ago you would have never thought you would reach this point.
“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.”—Albert Einstein (via geneticboi)